I think, i need to open up and welcome marriage in planning. I need to be married, i need it instead of want it. Sebab, the wild thinking is coming back and i feel sick of it. It is sinful, so no pahala in my akhirat account. Macam mana nak masuk syurga dgn senang kalau ginih, Allahu Akbar. The solution to can have the wild thinking and at the sametime can also get pahala is to get married. Need to get married. Then, solve problem. But the marriage life is not the temporary mesure, nak tak nak, have to commit. When salah perform in the commitment, alamatnya there will be additional dosa pula. Allahu Akbar, mcm mn ni. I know i need a husband for performing and activating the production or sexuality execution concept, but it is not only main topic need to focus. Ada byk lg ilmu and adab kene faham dan belajar ttg topik2 yg pelbagai dalam rumah tangga. Allahu Akbar, Allhumma solli a'ala saidina Muhammad wa a'ala saidina Muhammad. Macam mana ni ya Allah, seeking your guidance on this jodoh, marriage and the wild thinking matter. I dont want to add anymore sin in the current list, sebab nak sgt dpt dijemput dgn cepat dan mudah ke sisi-Mu then dpt jumpa anak2 bulus dan the loved ones e.g. arwah nenek, arwah atuk; yg sedang menunggu di sana.
Or the other solution for this is to kill yourself. Tapi itu forbidden in Islam and many more religions kan. I wish but forbidden. It is an effective shorcut what, i still believe it, tapi tulah. I am sellfish and confirm akan sedihkan mama abah and many more loved ones. Dan yg pasti, family reputation akan jadi burul dan hina sebab my sellfishness. Is that a word, sellfishness? wtv. So nora binti ismail, pls keep fighting, praying and dzikir, in sha Allah, in sha Allah, in sha Allah.
Help me Allah, and help my family and the loved ones dunia akhirat ya Allah. Harap yg baik2 aje to be happened, aminn aminn.
