Sebelum menjelang tgh mlm smlm, did practise keyboard tapi fingering teknik still mcm hampeh. And yg lagi hampeh, sengaja minum coke masa buka puasa+ x amek flutiform+still ada fikiran ttg en nomad+ada niat nak buat work but x buat pun mlm smlm + still ada low mood momment.
Despite of those stuffs tuh, suprisingly i felt a bit calmer + lighter this body system ni. Sudoku level Xpert pun mcm senang nak selesaikan. Sebab apa tau, mungkin sebab x rasa serabut sgt dah ttg en nomad since whatsapp conversation with leena, my closed officemate. Her question was suprisingly deep, such as "Is he special for you?" My answer in my mind which suprisingly can kill the voice in my mind, "CONFIRM LA TAK, HONESTLY, WHAT SPECIAL, DAA." Then, she strongly advises me to anggap aje he is one of my regular friends, which i feel so true and legit and effective. Of course he is just an acquitance or very regular friend kan. Until now, my body system mcm dah dpt digest those deep statements from Leena, which i feel content sbb dpt beat up my 'stubborn side'.
Thanks babe Leena, my prayer for you is hope that Allah will always protect and bless you and family, aminn aminn. Also my prayer for me is hope that Allah secure this clam feeling every day as well as improve the thinking situation related to en nomad. He is a good guy and has lots of quality of husband material, in sha Allah, but because of my declaration of kosong-kosong last year & nothing efforts from his side, it definitely is clear cut definition yg I could not be his lady. Me and en nomad are x compatible with each other, like what Hestie did mention years back ago. She was right, though. I am x good looking type lady, x perform enough in PPA Petronas every year, still sick in and out, still cannot know how to love myself, x saving, still unfinish master study, berat badan overweight and many more. Oppositely, en nomad is better than me from kebykn segi, i belive that.
So nora binti ismail, please ok, keep fighting for betterment in and out ok. In sha Allah, ada jodoh, ada lah ye, terus doa jodoh yg compatible dan baik2 utk dunia dan akhirat. Importantly, get back focus and energy for finishing master's project as well as langsaikan 'hutang2' task kerja yg sedia ada. Selalu istighfar, selawat dan zikir sambil2 berdoa pada Allah ar-Rahman ar-Rahim, sebab Allah shj yg pegang hati setiap makhluk nye, bukan manusia tapi Allah. Sayang Allah, sayang Rasulullah.
