Done sudoku, hard level, 2 games.
Biasa dah main sudoku byk2 daily, regardless what level. Fun to asah minda, rasa feeling2 genius tuh ada. Most of the time, rasa kacang sbb dah rutin kan main dan main.
Unfortunately, when there is sudoku, it acknowleges "that me" feeling is getting thicker and so, require lots of efforts and strategy (again) to fight " that me".
Jadi, confirm whatever been planned previous weeks, xade produktiviti utk this upcoming week. "That me" will always win and lots of excuses will be said with or w/o intention. Then, the loser feeling and "hate me" feeling akan jua makin menebal utk hari2 seterusnya. Wanted so bad utk jadi "old me", a person yg berusaha dan fokus sungguh2 utk capai goal dan planning yg dirancang, but too bad, the voice of "what for" pun makin menebal dlm mind and heart as well as body system ni.
Allahu Akbar, Allah Maha Besar. Selawat ke atas Rasulullah dan keluarga serta sahabat baginda.
Zikir dan selawat aje lah utk mohon perlindungan Allah setiap waktu, doa2 yg "this me" prone to choose pilihan yg baik2 so that, "that me" x win.
Betul yg masih ada fikiran utk tembak otak sendiri ni, betul yg masih ada kebencian pada perkahwinan abah mama ni, betul masih ada kebosanan dan "what for" dgn setiap detik ni; tapi "this me" still choose to practise relaxing method (by not pressure "this me" with overthinking issue, istighfar, slwt sket2, tgk tv) as well as "this me" still choose to larang "that me" to act physically. Ok lah kan, xpe xpe "this me", slow2 mcm siput, xpe ok, kuatkan smngt ok.
Importantly, still fighting ok. Segala hutang2 dlm academic life, working life dan beban kewangan, it is ok to abaikan temporary ye. Plus, mmg cuti dah amek kan utk esok 12April, so it is ok xde apa2 progress, asalkan pls ensure "that me" makin lemah dan x controlling.
Doa yg baik2 ye, ini ujian hidup utk masuk syurga.
Nurkakak, alang, haha, upin, ipin dan lain2 tgh tunggu tuh ye, kuatkan semngt.
In sha Allah, Allah pls guide me and seek Your protection for me and my loved ones.
Love you, Allah & Rasulullah, forgive me for letting "that me" still in control.
Sorry but will not give up.
