Monday, April 12, 2021

2021, Diary#4

Fool and stupid me, sebab masih teringat2 pasal encik nomad.
What the heck, pls la, come on la mind.
Mentang2 ko tahu yg aku xakan shoot the head right now, so ko dengan sesuka hati flashback and replay memori2 ttg that guy? Sampai bila ha?!
That guy and you dah kosong2, berapa kali nak remind. Pls la, kerjasama sket, xkan xboleh.
Dulu, ham ham for 10years gedik2 ingat dan perah santan. Now, xakan that encik nomad ko nak repeat the same typical pathetic pattern? Ko nak aku shoot the head then ko akan stop doing this?!
Idk la mind, you truly make me so so upset right now. Thought that we hv some midpoints and common terms yg win-win, now it seems mcm x. Lagi bertambah2 ls "hate me" feeling ni, stupid me, apa ke susah sgt nk control your own mind ha?! Dulu boleh jer, skrg mcm bodoh.
Bodoh sbb fikir2 perihal yg entah apa2. 
Pls la nora, i hate you so jgn buat aku benci ko lagi.
True fact is i refuse to learn what is self love and how, sbb 'what for' kan. So, pls pls stop making me lagi jauh dr diri ni and start ikut my 'old me' style.
That style worked what, so pls ikutkan aje apa yg aku tengah programm kat mind ni, ye mind. Ko jgn macam2, sbb aku boleh macam2 dgn diri ni.
Just blend it with the 'old me' style, we can do this towards progressive output.
Pls, no more encil nomad or sesiapa, pls, and always remember yg ko xsuit utk perkahwinan dan alam motherhood sbb ko akan repeat mistakes dan kebencian pada kehidupan baru, so better don't, don't, don't and don't.
Delete encik nomad and other unnecessary thinking/ berangan tuh from this mind, just keep deleting them all.
Fighting.