Salam isnin. Hari ni puasa sunat isnin, dan smlm jumpa dr. najib kat Mind Matters PJ. So mmg dah expected utk dalam mode energy -ve since smlm till the whole today. Alhamdulillah x demam panas for more 2 days mcm rituh recent august, jumpa dr. shireen kat Klinik Tan Seremban & dr. kat HTJ Seremban.
Pelik tapi benar, badan mmg akan auto energy -ve everytime mcm ginih. Also auto non-productive-emotion memanjang sehingga memaksa diri utk bed rotting + long napping + instable sleeping + less body movement + less mental movement + almost zero housekeeping.
Hmmm.
Hmmmmm.
Hmmmmmmm.
This is not a healthy cope kan. Tapi “it is what it is”, boleh kan use this statement ek. Refuse utk blame puasa sunat or utk blame every f2f session, sbb afterall back to inside out. Bukan salah external factors pun, sbb external mmg always open to every possibility/unknown/suprises, walaupun dah self-prep/homework/visual/practises. Jadi mmg punca from inside out, tapi refuse juga utk salahkan diri sbb dah mula sayang/kasih/kesian pada diri. Sbb tuh mcm nak guna statement “it is what it is as a neurodivergent”. As long as x susahkan org sekitar sepanjang self-surviving moments ginih, ok lah kan. Rasanya ok aje diri, so less worry ok! “One day at a time”, bak kat dr. najib smlm. Being an autistic with adhd, mmg rutin to be having this kind of disabling time kan, so terimalah fakta ini ye diri! Yoshhh, we got this! Asalkan x susahkan org2 dan x salahkan diri sendiri anymore. It is ok berada dlm state sebeginih ya. Xmoh dah salahkan puasa sunat, jgn dah salahkan mental dan never dah rasa useless terukz bila dlm fasa energy below zero reading. Let it freezes aje, it s ok tau. Sekali sekala dlm freezer, asyik2 energy dalam hot reading, jadi let it rest dlm freezer ya. Freezer is our ally tau, bukan enemy.
Teruskan doa pada yg Allah Maha Kuasa agar energy boleh bangkit semula segar starting esok dan onwards, supaya boleh fokus swimming + eat clean + sleep longer hours aided by quetiapine. Yoshhh! Go go diri, we got this ya. Selalu selawat dan zikir alhamdulillah tau, jgn malas2 tau.
Syg diri sendiri selalu tau. Love you.
