Salam diri sendiri,
Salam subuh tapi x solat subuh lagi. Kejap lg will do.
Btw today rasanya bfday sumayyah yg ke-2 tahun, 8 June 2023 she was born.
Tahun 2023 tuh oya dekat terengganu kerteh utk GPKIA project after self-decided utk sign off from Gansar in Q1. Sebab apa, sebab offshore medical check up failed terukss, digagalkan oleh Dr. AME di Klinik Tan Seremban. Not the AME’s fault sebab punca diri sendiri masih x sihat mental (masih consume meds psy) and BMI masih overweight. X apelah x de rezeki dgn Gansar tuh, then kemudian dpt rezeki persahabatan dgn arwah hassan dll di GPKIA. Arwah hassan meninggal dunia pun unexpectedly masa tahun 2023 tuh, kot rasanya. It was super duper devastated moment for me sbb i was the one of people yg arwah text with kind words/pesanan yg he was thankful sebab i was around to support him & humbly help the team. Rasa terkilan dgn his passing away tp rn dah reda dan berdamai dgn takdir. Plus, memory tuh semua including w PMT yg sgt sincere & supportive tuh dah been kept & locked in a room inside my mind ni. And that room is rn a little bit bersawang so susah sket utk recall cepat huhu. Bersawang is a good sign apeee, sbb proven dah move on and reda. Good job Nora.
So tahun 2023 ek sumayyah my queen dilahirkan. Early June which sama zodiac sign Gemini & Tahun Rabbit dgn Acu dan Nahyan. What a really big coincidence kan, Allahu Akbar. 90% possibility utk personality yg sama tuh ada between three of them. Pening kaplaaa mau layan la wei hahaha, but it s ok, my adhd love cabaran. Bring it on, Gemini freaks! Hahaha
Back to myself, for the past weeks agak feeling restless. Yelah dgn ada sesi consultation yg pertama w pegawai socso perkeso on 3 June and then sesi psy follow up yg ke-6 rasanya dgn Mind Matters Specialist on 5 June. Penat emosi mental body utk prep diri dan hadap on the sessions. Lepas settle sesi tuh semua, ofc diri shutdown hahaha. Perhaps sbb additional & unnecessary stress been added on kot ek. Itu yg auto shutdown or in default pilot mode sbb badan mau discharging all the cortisol hormone tuh semua kan. Allahu Akbar, hebatnya Allah design system badan ni without my senses and knowing. Allah sgt baik dgn diri ini, Alhamdulillah. Terima kasih ya Allah. Diri ini sgt syg padaMu ya Tuhanku. Terima kasih ya Allah masih sudi berikan aku nikmat invisible sebegituh, terima kasih ya Allah.
Dan hari ni planning to self-reduce the cortisol hormone dgn usaha sendiri juga supaya x kufur nikmat dengan swimming yg ke-2 kali. Kali pertama rituh by end May, alone lone ranger pergi terjah pool kat kompleks S2 tuh dgn keberanian yg luar biasa hahaha sbb starting2 dgn 2meter depth. Sepatutnya kene study dulu landscape pool tuh dan practise yg ada visible lantai hahaha. Ini tidak, semberono terus ke hujung dunia yg jauh dr org ramai which was 2mtr depth terus wei, alhamdulillah x lemas. Otherwise, auto malu & maruah lelong wei. It s a BIG NO NO to my ego, dont ever lemas dekat any pool, just pla dont ye diri haha.
Ok lah itu aje for now.
Take care diri, pls teruskan walaupun kepala masih bising dan godaan/bisikan syaitan utk gv up itu sgt real.
Just proceed w discipline ok diri, we got this ok.
Btw juga, today also hr raya haji yg ke-2 di Malaysia.
Slmt Hari Raya Haji diri, semoga segala pengorbanan dibuat hanyalah semata kerana Allah dan sambil2 terus doa/ingat Allah, Rasulullah dan circle along doing any pengorbanan ya.
Love.
