Am thinking about the recent dream. Bukanlah nightmare, dan serabut. Cuma cant stop thinking about it. In that dream, i had courage to self-harm by cutting the left wrist with a sharp knife. Waktu tuh, yg i remember tgh marah dan upset pada seseorang sbb seseorang itu was so sad sbb baru kehilangan the loved ones and then dia wanted to self-harm and suicide. But never did, cuma menangis so hard and acted histeria utk suicide. Dan pada waktuh itu, i felt so annoyed dan i picked a sharp knife then terus cut my pergelangan tangan kiri ni by shouting to that person yg i did it, so you can do it if you really really want it. Tp dia xbuat apa2 kot lepas saw my action and then my blood keluar from my wrist dengan warna merah yg pekat dan byk darah. Sebelum dealing with that person, waktu tu i just knew yg my loved ones dah 'pergi'. So it was the courage or trigger point why I was so brave to cut my left wrist without fikir dulu. I just buat tanpa segan2 dan malu2, 'just do' the self-harm in front of those people in the dream.
Wow, so wow kan. Sbb rasa wow, perasaan berani to act and 'just act it' tuh dah physically happen in the dream. Sebelum ni, xde this kind of dream tau. That was the first, and thus, wow.
Doa dan terus berdoa pada Allah yang Maha Kuasa, yang Maha Pengasih dan Penyayang untuk sentiasa lindungi diri ini dan my loved ones supaya sentiasa dalam pilihan hidup yang baik2 dan diberkati, janganlah jalan yg salah mengikut emosi dan permainan syaitan, sehinggalah ke akhirat kelak. Aminn, aminn.
