Nora,
Words below yg kau perlu neutralize supaya xdah feeling attach with 'him':
1. Adam
2. Sabah
3. Chemical
Laa, sket aje the list hahahaha. As of now, mampu fikir yg 3 itu aje, laa xbyk pun the killer words, ceit hahaha. Rasa boleh ni nora utk ignore dan hapuskan terus any remaining attachments tuh sbb xbyk pun sebenarnya. Jadi selama ni, about a year + meeting 'him' kat klia in 2020, rupanya the mind sendiri telah manipulate dan mempermaikan kau nora. What a bullshit mind! As always.
What if ada pistol skrg ni, mmg akan shoot this mind. Ajar sket, itu makanannye. Tp xboleh skrg sbb xde any gun and xrasa ada keperluan utk shutdown kan sekali all the organs yg xbersalah. Yg culprit nye hanyalah the bullshit mind!
Dah la recent farewell Lee Kwang So, the mind influenced kau utk grieve dan sedih sampai kau almost relapse into the 'old dark room' again. A month juga kau on off on off in depresi kan nora. Puncanya, kau nye minda sgtlah rude and wild. Bila your mind thinks and feels yg dia lah plg power among other organs or even you nora, maka beginilah resultnye such as:
1. suicidal thinking on off on off &
2. 'him' thinking sampai masuk mimpi lepas subuh yg 'he' simply played your heart mcm bodoh kau rasa dlm your own dream
What a mind! Haishhhh hate you mind!
So kene buat sth ni nora, to educate, guide or force your own mind to listen you, not otherwise.
Please, you yg lead and control all organs in the body system. Jgn mengalah. In sha Allah, akan dpt kesudahan yg baik utk kematian dan akhirat yg kau idamkan.
Please, keep talking and praying to Allah, zikir2 dan selawat kerap setiap hari walaupun kau selalu buat dosa2 yg Islam kata jgn, tp kau tetap buat. Itu memang memalukan, nih nak menulis kat sini pun amatlah memalukan. Cuma nak bg reminder utk istighfar setiap hari walapun dosa lebih byk dr zikir/selawat. Sebab Allah sgtlah baik, Tuhan yg sgt berkuasa dan hanya Dia yg pegang hati hamba2Nya. Always believe that ok nora.
