Dear self,
Xsangka masih wujud this account blog. Masih ada memory ttg dulu2 ada tulis mcm diari or journal. Tp ingatkan that memory adalah hanya sekadar bayangan. Nnt ada masa, ada plan utk read tru those past words in this blog.
Now, just want to note down or recap on several matters that had happened yesterday March 2nd. Now dah masuk March 3rd, 0001 Hour. So, smlm tghr until asar, rasa sgt content, happy and grateful sbb dpt derma darah. Previously, kerap kene reject sbb low HB but tadi syukur dan terima kasih Allah bagi keizinan utk keluarkan darah from this body ni utk keperluan org yg memerlukan nnt. Then, zohor time was engaged with office manager utk buat report kenaikan grade. So, perasaan perah santan tuh pun dtg yg konon2 nye ada peluang utk nama dicalonkan naik from G2 to G3. Jd, bersambunglah perasaan happy tuh hahaha walaupun badan rasa xsedap badan e.g. peluh2, rasa nak muntah tp xmuntah la, penat sokmo; after derma darah tadi huhu.
Tapi mcm biasa, insan bernama Nora binti Ismail ni mmg lumrahnye berjiwa low mood and cant be motivated utk sustain the good emotions. Those positivity feelings hanya temporary shj, sebab from that asar until this hour dah mcm resume the normal feeling and emotion: "wtv', 'what for" and "what is the point executing those babysteps or little contributions". Plus, sakit kepala belah kanan belakang yang mencucuk2 dan sakit sgt nih, pun sudah resume mcm biasa.
Allahuakbar, Allah Maha Besar. Sayang sgt Allah dan Rasullullah serta para sahabat2. Mungkin dah tiba masa utk step up the game to fight this battle. Rasulullah dan para sahabat waktu dulu lagi hebat dalaman dan keimanan bila diberi ujian after ujian. Sbb objektifnya utk bodek Allah supaya Allah berikan tpt di syurga. Itu yg selalu ditakuti diri, kalau satu hari nnt terpilih pilihan yg salah. The inner self battle; nora +ve vs nora suicidal thought. Nak masuk syurga sgt2, sbb the loved one yg dah 'pergi' sedang menanti. Xpasti ada kemampuan ke x utk terus fight, tapi kene cuba dan cuba. Walapun kdg2 bila justify to diri sendiri utk terus hidup demi the loved one tuh, kdg2 dah xrasa kuat glue nye tuh huhu.
Xpelah, will see how from time to time. In sha Allah, doa dan usaha yg baik2.
Cheers.
